Why should you ask the father’s blessing before getting down on one knee?
Asking for the father’s blessing has become an age-old tradition
Throughout the years it has become a common courtesy to ask a father’s permission before asking for his daughter’s hand in marriage. The age-old tradition has been known to show respect to the future in-laws; in essence, it has become proposal etiquette 101. However, in the 21st century, it’s more about asking your future bride’s parents for their ‘blessing’ rather than asking for the father’s permission. But where exactly did the custom come from and why do grooms continue to honour it?
THE ORIGINS OF THE TRADITION
The origins of the tradition dates back to ancient Rome
The tradition dates back to ancient Rome when the grooms would give the father of the bride a symbolic coin. By accepting the coin, the father has given the groom permission to marry his daughter. Back then the decision was up to the bride’s father and not the bride. Of course, that is not the case today. Instead, grooms are asking for the dad’s ‘blessing’ before getting down on one knee. The decision on whether she will accept his hand in marriage is still up to her.
WHY DO MEN ASK FOR THE FATHER’S BLESSING?
Planning to propose entails a lot of exciting events, such as having a conversation with her father
To propose to your significant other takes more than just getting down on one knee. It’s a timeline of exciting events that usually lead up to the special moment the two of you will remember forever. The process usually entails a lot of planning such as finding the perfect diamond engagement ring, scouting for the perfect proposal spot, and of course asking her father’s blessing. Here are a few reasons why grooms in the 21st century still honour the tradition of asking the father’s blessing before getting down on one knee:
It’s about showing respect
Asking for the father’s blessing shows him that you have a lot of respect for the family
Before popping the question it’s considered a common courtesy to meet up with the future bride-to-be’s parents and asking for their ‘blessing’. In many cultures by having the conversation has shown to be a very respectful gesture towards the mother and the father. It shows them that your intentions are true and that you would like to be part of the family. The word, ‘blessing’ indicates that you have respect for them, but that the decision of whether the wedding will happen or not will rely on their daughter’s response.
It is considered romantic
The discussion you have with her parents can be considered to be very romantic in her eyes
Even if you’re not the romantic type it’s important to pull out all the stops for the proposal; this includes candles, champagne and rose petals. In most cases, if the bride has a good relationship with her mother and father she would find it very romantic that you did ‘the right thing’ and spoke to her parents first. Be sure to respect any traditions in order to create positive memories.
It’s a promise that you will protect her forever
During the conversation you can make you intentions very clear
Make your intentions towards his daughter very clear. Of course, by planning on marrying her and asking for his ‘blessing’ you are assuring him that you will look after ‘his little girl’. Put yourself in his shoes, he took care of her since the day she was born and only wishes the best for her. The conversation between you and her father will create the opportunity for you to make that special commitment. The promise you will make to her father will assure him that you will respect, honour and cherish his daughter forever. This will hopefully but his mind and ease.
It’s the perfect time to express your feelings
Explain to her parents why you would like to marry their daughter
There isn’t always a great time for you to tell your future in-laws exactly how you feel about their daughter. Before asking for their blessing you could finally explain to them why you wish to marry their daughter. During this time you could convey to her father just how serious you are about her and how important the commitment is to you. Tell him just how happy it will make you to spend the rest of your life with their daughter. They will truly appreciate a conversation like this.
Asking the father’s blessing before getting down on one knee has become a tradition up until this day. However, instead of asking the father’s permission you are respectfully asking for his blessing. This is the perfect opportunity to create an everlasting and respectful bond with the future in-laws. Your future bride-to-be will also appreciate the amount of planning and effort you went through before getting down on one knee.